10 replies to this topic

[Cheater]

Don Meredith, former Dallas Cowboys quarterback once said: “Coach Tom Landry is such a perfectionist that if he was married to Raquel Welch, he would expect her to cook.” 

Harry Neale, professional hockey coach: "Last year we couldn't win at home and we were losing on the road. My failure as a coach was that I couldn't think of anyplace else to play.” 
 
Reggie Jackson, commenting on Tom Seaver: "Blind people come to the ballpark just to listen to him pitch." 

Doug Sanders, professional golfer: "I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything will be perfect." 

Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers pitcher: "All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.' " 

Tommy Lasorda, LA Dodgers manager: "I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don't care and the other twenty percent are glad I'm having them." 

E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his 12 knee operations: "My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget." 

Vic Braden, tennis instructor: "My theory is that if you buy an ice-cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren't as good.” 

Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback, when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: "I don't know... I only played there for nine years." 

John Breen, Houston Oilers: "We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.” 

Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons: "The film looks suspiciously like the game itself." 

Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher: “When I'm on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo." 

Paul Hornung, Green Bay Packers running back, on why his marriage ceremony was before noon: “Because if it didn't work out, I didn't want to blow the whole day." 

Lou Holtz, football coach: "I have a lifetime contract. That means I can't be fired during the third quarter if we're ahead and moving the ball." 

Bill Walton, Portland Trail Blazers: "I learned a long time ago that 'minor surgery' is when they do the operation on someone else, not you." 

George MacIntyre, Vanderbilt football coach, surveying the team roster that included 26 freshmen and 25 sophomores: "Our biggest concern this season will be diaper rash." 

Rick Venturi, Northwestern football coach: "The only difference between me and General Custer is that I have to watch the films on Sunday."
 
Knute Rockne, when asked why Notre Dame had lost a game: "I won't know until my barber tells me on Monday."

[Eddie Fleming]

Love the one by Garrison about Tom Landry. 

[old & gray]

Buddy Baker said, “He ran out of talent about half way through the corner.”

[MSwiss]

Ron Dayne, Wisconsin and NYG running back:

"If you need a yard, I'll get you a yard, if you need 2 yards, I'll get you 2 yards; if you need 3 yards, I'll get you 3 yards;

if you need 4 yards, I'll get you 3 yards."

[Bill from NH]

Ron Dayne was a powerful back at Wisconsin. I expected to see more out of him at the NFL level than I saw.

[MSwiss]

I would have guessed he had at least one 1,000 yard (with a ton of carries) season with the Giants, but no.

 

[Jay Guard]

I heard this on a recent F1 broadcast when a racer put it into the gravel pit... "he had more ambition than adhesion."

 

I've felt this way many times in a slot car race!    

[Dave Crevie]

I sometimes feel that way in real life. Seems like I'm spinning my wheels and not gettin' nowhere. 

[NSwanberg]

Should be the greatest quote in all of sports. "I would choose to retire when practice is no longer fun anymore." - Gordie Howe. 

There was some discussion over who was the greatest athlete of the 20^th century. Some said Secretariat. Some said Gordie Howe. They set up a contest and, of course, Secretariat won the foot race, however, he did not fare too well on ice skates. 

[Jim Difalco]

The supposedly true answer when a reporter asked John Macay of the Tampa Bay bucs what he thought of his team's execution was, "I am in favor of it."

 

After looking up the quote, it seems some form of this answer may go all the way back to Groucho Marx times.

[SpeedyNH]

My mom used to have a saying on the wall of her kitchen: "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get."