Jump to content




Photo

Joke of the day


808 replies to this topic

#801 NSwanberg

NSwanberg

    Checkered Flag in Hand

  • Full Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,035 posts
  • Joined: 01-April 09
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Canton, MI

Posted 11 April 2018 - 03:03 AM

It is a good thing slot car racing is the last bastion of total male dominance and therefore no ladies will see the above. :sarcastic_hand:


Remember the Steube bar!
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL RACEWAY!!
"The denial of denial is the first sign of denial." Hank, from Corner Gas
Nelson Swanberg

Peace be with all of us and good racing for the rest of us.
Have controller. Will travel. Slot Car Heaven




#802 Eddie Fleming

Eddie Fleming

    Checkered Flag in Hand

  • Full Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,036 posts
  • Joined: 27-April 14
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Fayetteville, GA

Posted 11 April 2018 - 07:28 AM

It is a good thing slot car racing is the last bastion of total male dominance and therefore no ladies will see the above. :sarcastic_hand:

Oh I don't know about that.

 

My wife liked it 

 

In fact she has not quit talking about it since she saw it.  :laugh2:


  • Pappy, NSwanberg, Samiam and 1 other like this
Eddie Fleming

#803 NSwanberg

NSwanberg

    Checkered Flag in Hand

  • Full Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,035 posts
  • Joined: 01-April 09
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Canton, MI

Posted 12 April 2018 - 01:39 AM

Eddie you are cruisin for a bruisin.


Remember the Steube bar!
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL RACEWAY!!
"The denial of denial is the first sign of denial." Hank, from Corner Gas
Nelson Swanberg

Peace be with all of us and good racing for the rest of us.
Have controller. Will travel. Slot Car Heaven

#804 Pappy

Pappy

    Grand Champion Poster

  • Full Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,271 posts
  • Joined: 16-February 06
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Oxford, OH

Posted 12 April 2018 - 07:57 AM

In fact she has not quit talking about it since she saw it.  :laugh2:

That's one of the funniest things I've ever read on here.  :laugh2:  :laugh2:  :laugh2:


Jim "Butch" Dunaway
 
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
 
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you are stupid.

NF-UE

#805 MG Brown

MG Brown

    Grand Champion Poster

  • Administrator
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,745 posts
  • Joined: 16-February 06
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Land of Lincoln, where governors make the license plates.

Posted 27 April 2018 - 04:08 PM

I gave away a dead car battery last night.

 

The person I gave it to didn't know it was dead; They asked "How much do I owe you?"

 

I said "You don't owe me anything. It's free of charge."


"I'm just here for the entertainment." George Carlin


#806 ravajack

ravajack

    On The Lead Lap

  • Full Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 429 posts
  • Joined: 17-February 06
  • Location:Sweden

Posted 04 May 2018 - 11:34 PM

A teacher decides to let students out early if they can name the origin of a famous quote...
 
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
But before Johnny began to open his mouth, Susie says "Abraham Lincoln".
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home".
 
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Again, before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says "Martin Luther King".
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go".
 
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says "John F. Kennedy".
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave".
 
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says in frustration "I wish these dumb bitches would keep their freakin' mouths shut!"
 
The teacher turns around and she is livid: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "Harvey Weinstein. See ya tomorrow!"

  • NSwanberg likes this
Bertil Berggren
Overseas Observer

#807 Pappy

Pappy

    Grand Champion Poster

  • Full Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,271 posts
  • Joined: 16-February 06
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Oxford, OH

Posted 10 May 2018 - 08:19 AM

 


A crusty old Army Sargent Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. 

"Excuse me, Sargent Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." 

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." 

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself." 
The Sargent Major just stared at her in his serious manner. 

Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." 

"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." 

The Sargent Major said, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

  • Pablo and NSwanberg like this
Jim "Butch" Dunaway
 
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
 
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you are stupid.

NF-UE

#808 Dave Crevie

Dave Crevie

    Checkered Flag in Hand

  • Full Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,028 posts
  • Joined: 16-February 09

Posted 10 May 2018 - 12:21 PM

Only from a veteran. Good one!.



#809 ravajack

ravajack

    On The Lead Lap

  • Full Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 429 posts
  • Joined: 17-February 06
  • Location:Sweden

Posted 18 May 2018 - 02:02 PM

I went to the liquor store last night on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.

 

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself:

 

If I should crash and fall off my bicycle, the bottle will probably break.

 

So I decided I'd better drink all the Scotch before I cycled home.

 

It turned out to be a very good decision.

 

I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home!


  • Pappy, NSwanberg and Eddie Fleming like this
Bertil Berggren
Overseas Observer





Electric Dreams Online Shop