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Drinkers warning, Donald & Daisy +++


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#1 Zippity

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Posted 30 August 2016 - 06:44 AM

Health Alert: Drinkers Beware..................

I did not know this.... did you?

When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.

When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.

When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.

When you drink Gin over ice, it can cause brain damage.


Apparently, ice is really really bad for you.

Please warn all your friends.........

*********************************


Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"

Donald frowned and said, "No."

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.

"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested, so Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a packet out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill for you?"

"Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!"


You smiled...I saw you!!

*********************************


Sometimes.....When you cry.....

No one sees your tears..


Sometimes.....When you are in pain.

No one sees your hurt.


Sometimes.....When you are worried..

No one sees your stress


Sometimes.....When you are down

No one sees your misery


Sometimes.....When you are happy..

No one sees your smile .....





But FART!!! .....just ONE time....

And everybody knows!!




Gotcha!!

Bet you thought this was going to be one of those heart-touching stories with a warm and cuddly punchline!

*********************************


OLD IS:................


'OLD' IS WHEN....
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the Doctor instead of by the Police.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any extra fibre today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking building.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the toilet.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN....

You are not sure these are jokes!

********************************
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#2 Pablo

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Posted 30 August 2016 - 08:46 AM

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