Life in Chicago is an exciting and unexpected journey, but some things become a little less than thrilling the more we encounter them. Living in a place that boasts amazing museums, bountiful live music and great restaurants doesn't stop us from getting fed up with other aspects of city life. To prepare you for some unavoidable declines in enthusiasm, we put together a list of the things you'll become jaded about while living in Chicago.
Try to act like you care (or don't).
The weather. It flip-flops between 65 degrees and snow faster than you can blink. We let Tom Skilling worry about making predictions and get on with our lives.
Transit delays. It's basically expected that you'll be 20 minutes late no matter what, and the earlier you leave for something the more likely you are to be late.
Seeing a rat run down the street. No need to freak out, there are vermin living everywhere in this city--including the walls of your apartment.
Watching a pigeon eat vomit on the street in Wrigleyville. It's the circle of life.
Uber. It was charming and fun the first, fifth, even 10th time. Now you just want the driver to please, for the love of God, stop talking.
The amount of bars. Sure, you can check out a new place every weekend, but at some point you just want to go to the place where everybody knows your name.
Groan-worthy cocktail names. We would much rather drink a solid Old-Fashioned than be forced to read the phrase "Whiskey Business" one more time.
Cheering for losing sports teams. No matter how many Stanley Cups the Blackhawks win or how close the Cubs come to the World Series, we've grown accustomed to disappointment.
Crappy beer. There's no reason to drink Bud Light when the folks at Revolution, Lagunitas, Half Acre and other local breweries are churning out flavorful (and affordable) suds.
Riding a boat on the lake. When you visit or move here, gliding across Lake Michigan seems exciting, but eventually you realize that there are far more things to do on dry land.
Pizza. Yep, I said it. There is no waistline that can accommodate the sheer amount of delicious pizza (deep-dish, thin crust, New York--style, etc.) in this town.
A bad doughnut. Have you noticed that nobody is bringing Dunkin' Donuts into the office anymore?
The beach. Living near a stretch of sand is great, but Chicago's beaches are usually crowded on the days you want to use them, and you can get far more reading (and drinking) done on your couch.
Potholes. Most of them are bigger than your head and won't get filled until the end of summer, no matter how many times you call your alderman.
Political corruption. Sadly, Chicago's civic leaders never seem to learn from the multitude of mistakes made by their predecessors. A few "campaign donations" can still get you a new basketball arena or the ability to use one of the city's parks free of charge.
Train and street evangelists. Enthusiastic public preaching is curious at first, but the latest episode of Serial (crime drama) is far more interesting.
The lack of winter sunshine. Most of us come down with a mild case of seasonal affective disorder in mid-November and lament the lack of vitamin D as we wait for the sunny skies of spring.