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Golf philosophy


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#1 Cheater

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Posted 01 March 2018 - 04:47 PM

1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. – Grantland Rice

2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five – John Updike

3. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. – Robert Lynd

4. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. – Horace G. Hutchinson

5. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. – Gardner Dickinson

6. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. – Sam Snead

7. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. – William Wordsworth

8. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. – Dean Martin

9. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. – Tommy Bolt

10. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. – Bishop Sheen

11. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. – Arnold Palmer

12. My handicap? Woods and irons. – Chris Codiroli

13. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top. – Pete Dye

14. I'm hitting the woods just great, but having a terrible time getting out of them! – Buddy Hackett

15. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf. – Billy Graham

16. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. – Jack Lemmon

17. It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. – Mark Twain

18. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. – Harry Vardon

19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them. – Raymond Willis

20. May the ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters or small round sandy regions. – Ben Hogan

21. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. – All Us Hackers

22 The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. – George Deukmejian

Anf finally...

23. Remember golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. – Lee Trevino


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Gregory Wells

Never forget that first place goes to the racer with the MOST laps, not the racer with the FASTEST lap





#2 Eddie Fleming

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Posted 01 March 2018 - 05:11 PM

The last one is priceless. 


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#3 Dave Crevie

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Posted 01 March 2018 - 05:21 PM

I never could understand golf. You take a stick and hit a ball into the woods. Then you spend hours looking for it.

 

And what do you do when you find it? You take a stick and hit it into the woods, losing it all over again.



#4 Tom Eatherly

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Posted 01 March 2018 - 08:55 PM

"It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do." Quote from someone. :shok:


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#5 Pablo

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Posted 01 March 2018 - 09:42 PM

index.jpg


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#6 Tom Eatherly

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Posted 01 March 2018 - 10:44 PM

^^^Yep!^^^


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#7 idare2bdul

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Posted 01 March 2018 - 11:45 PM

I grew up with access to putting greens and then discovered driving ranges. It seemed darn silly to chase after the ball when specialized machines existed to retrieve them and a nice guy would hand you a bucket of them.

I played a par three course which seemed reasonable as I could carry a 9 and a 5 iron and a putter and my dad would buy me a good dinner for myself and my wife. I only played a full size course a few times and they objected to my golf cart driving style so I was relegated to passenger.

My first two jobs out of college had a space on the weekly report for who I played golf with and one company wanted to know my score.

Golf is not a game, it is a cult.
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#8 Pappy

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Posted 02 March 2018 - 07:56 AM

Why do they call it shooting golf when they give you clubs to hit them with?

 

I went out to shoot golf once, never saw a one. But I found a whole bunch of their eggs, they're white with a whole bunch of little dimples on them.

 

Actually I use to play in a golf league. They called me "Animal" because I hit the ball so hard. I could hit a ball further out of bounds than anyone in the league. True story.  :laugh2:


Jim "Butch" Dunaway
 
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
 
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you are stupid.

NF-UE

#9 Pablo

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Posted 02 March 2018 - 09:04 AM

How do the dimples make the balls fly better?

Billy Watson pulled a slot car body with dimples once. I don't remember the results.
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#10 Cheater

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Posted 02 March 2018 - 10:37 AM

Why do golf balls have dimples?


Gregory Wells

Never forget that first place goes to the racer with the MOST laps, not the racer with the FASTEST lap


#11 Bill from NH

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Posted 02 March 2018 - 10:52 AM

A number of wing car bodies are available with and without dimples. I doubt nicks and cuts would give them more downforce. :nea:


Bill Fernald
 

I heard they weren't going to make yardsticks any longer.


#12 SlowBeas

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Posted 02 March 2018 - 12:57 PM

I confess to having an obsession with the game of golf. In fact, my late father-in-law, who I played with regularly, once told me he'd never met anyone as smitten with the game as me. This, from a man who attended more than 50 years of The Masters and taught himself to play by hitting golf balls into the side of his barn. He took me to my first Masters in '86, the year Jack won his sixth green jacket.

 

He could find something good to say about nearly every poor shot I ever struck. Yeah. I miss him, too.

 

I know he'd be pleased that I've recently joined the coaching ranks for The First Tee program. I hope to pass along to kids some of our love for the game.

 

Some people love slot cars, some love softball, some love bowling. It's hard to explain; frustrating, maddening, somehow joyful, and the game can be truly addictive.


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Jim Beasley
South Carolina, USA

"Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles."
- Pat Paulsen, 1968
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."
- Steven Wright ca. 1983

#13 Pappy

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Posted 02 March 2018 - 01:24 PM

It's hard to explain; frustrating, maddening, somehow joyful, and the game can be truly addictive.


It's amazing how you can have a great round one day and can't wait to get out there again and the next time you can't hardly hit the ball.  :laugh2:
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Jim "Butch" Dunaway
 
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
 
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you are stupid.

NF-UE

#14 SlowBeas

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Posted 02 March 2018 - 02:05 PM

Actually, Butch, I usually play 17 lousy holes, make a great shot on the 18th, and think to myself "Now I know what I was doing wrong. I can't wait until the next time I get to play!"
 
Of course, it never works out for me the next time I get to the course.   :crazy:
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Jim Beasley
South Carolina, USA

"Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles."
- Pat Paulsen, 1968
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."
- Steven Wright ca. 1983

#15 NSwanberg

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Posted 03 March 2018 - 05:35 AM

Golf takes complete concentration and complete relaxation at the same time not to mention you are dealing with two centers of percussion.
Remember the Steube bar!
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL RACEWAY!!
"The denial of denial is the first sign of denial." Hank, from Corner Gas
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Peace be with all of us and good racing for the rest of us.
Have controller. Will travel. Slot Car Heaven

#16 Pappy

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Posted 03 March 2018 - 08:23 AM

They say the hardest thing in sports is to hit a baseball coming at you at 90 miles an hour with a bat. For me it was easier to do that than hit a golf ball straight.

 

That's why I enjoy watching golf on TV, I know how good these guys are. There are probably only three hundred guys in the world that can play golf at the PGA level.


Jim "Butch" Dunaway
 
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
 
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you are stupid.

NF-UE

#17 Cheater

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Posted 03 March 2018 - 08:35 AM

The late Willie Stargell, who I came to know when he was a customer at the BMW repair shop where I was parts manager, told me that the hardest task in all of sport was hitting a round ball with a round bat and hitting it square.


Gregory Wells

Never forget that first place goes to the racer with the MOST laps, not the racer with the FASTEST lap


#18 Bill from NH

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Posted 03 March 2018 - 02:53 PM

Willie was a very good ball player for the Pirates.


Bill Fernald
 

I heard they weren't going to make yardsticks any longer.


#19 Cheater

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Posted 03 March 2018 - 03:01 PM

I got to know Willie reasonably well, after he came to coach for the Braves for Chuck Tanner. He stayed after Chuck left.

Willie lived alone at that time, before he remarried, and would bring his BMW 735 to the shop near closing time to pick me up. He'd drive home, and then I'd drive his car to my home (having left my car overnight at work) and bring it back to the shop the next morning. When the work on his car was finished, I'd either go get him or someone would drop him off at the shop to get the car.


Gregory Wells

Never forget that first place goes to the racer with the MOST laps, not the racer with the FASTEST lap


#20 Pappy

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Posted 03 March 2018 - 05:11 PM

The late Willie Stargell, who I came to know when he was a customer at the BMW repair shop where I was parts manager, told me that the hardest task in all of sport was hitting a round ball with a round bat and hitting it square.

 

Obviously, he didn't play golf.  :laugh2:


Jim "Butch" Dunaway
 
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
 
When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you are stupid.

NF-UE

#21 Pablo

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Posted 03 March 2018 - 06:07 PM

I get the dimpled ball thing now, Cheater - you want a golf ball to fly and you don't want a slot body to take flight.  :D


Paul Wolcott

#22 MG Brown

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Posted 03 March 2018 - 09:47 PM

I sincerely hope that I will be able to get more golf in this year than in the last 20 years.


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