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Are they really jokes? You be the judge


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#26 MG Brown

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Posted 16 June 2020 - 10:11 AM

WHO Let the dogs out.jpg


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Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.





#27 MG Brown

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Posted 16 June 2020 - 05:54 PM

Asteroid in Arizona.jpg


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Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#28 MG Brown

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 02:56 PM

Post has been removed.jpg


Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#29 don.siegel

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 03:09 PM

That last one is great MG, and very appropriate for this forum! 

 

Don 



#30 Gil Aubin

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 04:20 PM

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

 

Inside a dog it is too dark to read.


aka Casinoslotcars

#31 Half Fast

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Posted 20 June 2020 - 12:16 PM

103916506_3300577430004954_8071566145031


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Bill Botjer

Faster then, wiser now.

The most dangerous form of ignorance is not knowing that you don't know anything!

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity

 

 

 
 

#32 MG Brown

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Posted 23 June 2020 - 01:13 PM

I was told to Get It together. So I got It all together; now I forgot where I put It!


Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#33 MG Brown

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Posted 23 June 2020 - 06:15 PM

Bear City Hall CA.jpg


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Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#34 MG Brown

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Posted 24 June 2020 - 01:40 PM

Gameshow for college students.jpg


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Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#35 MG Brown

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Posted 25 June 2020 - 10:32 AM

Great personality.jpg


Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#36 MG Brown

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Posted 26 June 2020 - 10:10 AM

Screen Shot 2020-06-26 at 10.09.41 AM.png


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Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#37 MG Brown

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Posted 26 June 2020 - 10:44 AM

Taken from the web page of a popular local pizza pub:

 

Beer of the month.png


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Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#38 MG Brown

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Posted 26 June 2020 - 01:36 PM

2020 is what happens.jpg


Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#39 Tim Neja

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Posted 26 June 2020 - 04:50 PM

The Teddy Bear was out to dinner --  his waitress asked if he would like a dessert?  He said--"No thank you, I'm already stuffed" !!! :dash2:  :crazy:


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She's real fine, my 409!!!

#40 Dave Crevie

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Posted 27 June 2020 - 09:02 AM

Sadly, my girlfriend and I have gone our separate ways. We had a spat over housecleaning, not so uncommon for couples. She complained

that she has to do all the cleaning, and I responded by telling her that what she does I can handle with just my right hand. I could have worded

that better.   


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#41 MG Brown

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Posted 27 June 2020 - 07:47 PM

Screen Shot 2020-06-27 at 7.46.05 PM.png


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Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#42 MG Brown

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Posted 29 June 2020 - 07:05 PM

Save Our Statues.jpg


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Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#43 MG Brown

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 10:07 AM

Another vendor arrested for putting ketchup on a Chicago Style hotdog.. when is this gonna end?

 

Ketchup on Hot Dog.jpg


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Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#44 don.siegel

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 11:32 AM

Hey, I'm a native Chicagoan and I always put ketchup on my hot dogs - and I grew up right next to the best hot dog joint in Chicago: Carl's red hots, on 83rd and Jeffrey... 

 

Proudly red, 

Don 


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#45 MG Brown

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 12:49 PM

Hey, I'm a native Chicagoan and I always put ketchup on my hot dogs - and I grew up right next to the best hot dog joint in Chicago: Carl's red hots, on 83rd and Jeffrey... 

 

I feel ya Don but certain people around greater Chicago consider ketchup on hot dogs to be sacrilege.

I never understood how it made their lives miserable what condiments I put on MY sandwich. But then there are a lot of things that I don't understand.


Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#46 SpeedyNH

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 03:44 PM

They'd probably wanna shoot me if they knew that I liked mayo or even miracle whip on my dogs. 

 

So, they use various spicy mustard only? that'd be ok too. 

 

I remember getting a hotdog in Paris from a sidewalk cafe' when i was a kid where the mustard was so hot I had trouble eating it. I remember the guy giving me a weird look when I asked in my pre-high-school French for extra mustard! Man was he right. 


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Steve Lang

#47 MG Brown

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 04:59 PM

This looks like it would be off the charts fun.

 

Old Lady Slots.jpg


Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#48 MG Brown

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Posted 03 July 2020 - 09:44 PM

Actual sign spotted in Lake Elizabeth, Twin Lakes, WI

 

Sign In WI.jpg


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Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#49 MG Brown

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Posted 04 July 2020 - 02:37 PM

A group of slot racing buddies, all in their 40's, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because it wasn't far from the track, the waitresses were young, good looking, showed lots of cleavage and wore short-shorts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the racing buddies once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the food and service was good, they had many televisions to watch the games on, and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the gang again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace, and it was good value for the money.

Ten years later, at age 70, they discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because they had never been there before.


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Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.


#50 MG Brown

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Posted 04 July 2020 - 09:12 PM

From the Fairfield Glade TN Neghborhood message board.

Things to make your day.

Going to ask my Wife if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table.

Of all the things I learned in grade school, how to avoid cooties was the last one I expected to use!

So can we expect car insurance to go down since nobody can go anywhere? Just wondering... Jake, from State Farm...

People keep asking is coronavirus really that serious? Listen up! Casinos and churches are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, its probably pretty serious!

Now that teachers finally have a chance to use the restroom, theres no toilet paper.

Shout out to all the parents who never taught their kids RESPECT, and, now theyre stuck at home with the little brats!!!

The longer this goes on the harder it will be to return to a society, where pants and shirts are required.

Cops these days will be like come out with your hands washed!

Day 101 of quarantine: ate all the snacks and food; clothes no longer fit but Im still wearing gloves, and mask for my protection.

I'm as bored as an Amish electrician!

Homeschooling Update: My child just said I hope I dont have the same teacher next year!

Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!

And just like that having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, plastic sheeting and rope in your trunk is OK !

Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but staying home on the couch can do for your country.

50 million children being homeschooled by gun owning parents, and not one single school mass shooting. Arming teachers works!!!

Police confront nudist sunbathers over not wearing facemasks amid coronavirus outbreak.

Ladies time to start dating the older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early.

I dont like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.

I cant believe I can walk into a store to buy weed, but I have to meet my hairdresser in a dark alley with unmarked bills to get a haircut!

Have to say that the Class of 2020 outdid themselves with Senior Skip Day this year!

With so many sporting events cancelled, theyre having to televise the World Origami ChampionshipIts on Pay per view.

Everyone is posting memes and talking about coming out of this quarantine with a new skill or side hustle. Im just sitting here wondering how I never noticed theres a turd in Saturday.

Not to brag, but I havent been late for anything for the past 121 days!

Sitting at the bar in the kitchen at night. Tried to pick up my wife. She gave me a fake phone number. WTH

Its been a blessing being home with the wife for eight weeks now. Weve caught up on everything Ive done wrong for the past fifteen years.

Have you noticed that since beauty salons are closed, selfies are down 68%?

Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent coronavirus, but to stop eating!!!!!!


Sure I have a retirement plan, I plan to build and race slot cars.






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