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Marriage is sharing...

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#1 Cheater


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Posted 02 July 2020 - 11:27 AM

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries, and a drink.   

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife . 
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.  
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip, and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering. Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple – all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.' 
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine – they were used to sharing everything.  
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink..  
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said, 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.' 
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, 'What is it you are waiting for?' 
 She answered: 'The teeth.'

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#2 Jesse Gonzales

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 01:25 PM

My bride of 45 years and I joke about this all the time. We don't share teeth but very often cut a meal in half because it's more than either can eat.


Jess Gonzales

#3 Dave Crevie

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 02:44 PM

Sharing between couples often does take a comical turn.


Back when I was driving my Jaguar E-Type as my everyday car, I was also sharing a house with my then girlfriend. The house had a one-car garage that was filled with stuff, so both the Jag and her Toyota Corolla sat outside. I was working at a tool and die shop that was  working six twelves, (plus six most Sundays), so I left before her in the morning, and got home after her at night.


We had agreed to share cars, and whichever car was behind the other in the driveway would be the one we would take (to save having to jockey cars) That was fine with me, because the Jag was almost always behind the Toyota. One morning, when I left for work, I noticed the Toyota was behind the Jag. So I drove that to work. When I got home, I moved the cars around so my car was behind hers.


But sure enough, the next morning the Toyota was back behind the Jag. So I got the thrill of driving her car to work again. And again, when I got home, I moved the cars around so that the Jag was behind the Toyota. During the night I awoke to find that she was not in the bed. I got up to see what was wrong, (hoping it was not morning sickness), and there she was, in her little nightie, moving the cars so the Toyota was nearest the street.


So I fixed her wagon. One nice thing about an E-Type is that the center instrument panel folds down to get at the wiring and fuses. I simply pulled the main fuse the next morning, so the car wouldn't start. She had to take a cab to work.  

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#4 SpeedyNH


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Posted 02 July 2020 - 04:02 PM

Did you marry her? At least she knew a good car when she saw one. The little nightie sounds good, too. 

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#5 Dave Crevie

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Posted 03 July 2020 - 09:53 AM

No. She went back to her ex, who hadn't treated her very well. My first exposure to something that has baffled me ever since. Why do they stay with

men who abuse them? She had a five-year-old daughter who was an absolute treasure, and I was beginning to think of us as a family unit. But, c'est

la vie.  

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