ON TURNING 70 - "I still chase women, but only downhill."
ON TURNING 80 - "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing."
ON TURNING 90 - "You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
ON TURNING 100 - " I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER (BOXING) - "I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them."
ON GOLF - "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees."
ON PRESIDENTS - "I have performed for 12 presidents but entertained only six."
ON WHY HE CHOOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER - "When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, congratulations, you have an eight pound ham."
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL - "I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it."
ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY - "Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother."
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS - "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom."
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES - "I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me."
ON GOING TO HEAVEN - "I have done benefits for all religions. I would hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."
